[For all that he fusses about reputation and gossip with Tabris, it somehow makes little difference with Anders. Maybe because the exchange is very different. If he slept with Tabris, the only benefit would be sleeping with her. But Anders is a whole person, and reputation seems like a small price to pay for one person. Maybe Nathaniel has been lying to himself all this time anyway, thinking he could salvage something from the ashes of his family's honor. He would rather know his own honor for what it is, and he couldn't live with himself if he rejected Anders.]
no subject
[For all that he fusses about reputation and gossip with Tabris, it somehow makes little difference with Anders. Maybe because the exchange is very different. If he slept with Tabris, the only benefit would be sleeping with her. But Anders is a whole person, and reputation seems like a small price to pay for one person. Maybe Nathaniel has been lying to himself all this time anyway, thinking he could salvage something from the ashes of his family's honor. He would rather know his own honor for what it is, and he couldn't live with himself if he rejected Anders.]
You matter, to me. You deserve love and respect.