Anders leans against Nate, enjoying being held. They're both damp, but this is nice and it puts off the question a few more seconds. But only a few more seconds.

"Both. But mostly the latter. Stupid, I know, to do things against Templars and invite more wrath and do more things and invite even more wrath." He takes a breath. Going deeper, not sticking to surface answers, will always be difficult. But he knows what was truly going on.

"It was all I could do to mentally survive. They would hurt me, and I could strike back in petty ways and say I wasn't broken to everyone around. That was what was important to me, showing them I wasn't broken. No matter what came of freezing the Chantry floor, or summoning spiders to fill Templar boots, I was still doing it."