He spends so much time in his own head and in his own fears that sometimes he can't figure out how to just be. Or to just hope. He exhales and turns a little to kiss Nate's lips gently.

"And I love you so much. You mean so much to me, and I'm... I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm scared all the time, I'm sorry I don't always make sense. And I'm sorry I struggle at just being and hoping. I don't mean to make things messy." He tries to figure them out and gets wrapped up in his own thoughts and then does cause a mess, and he hates himself for it.