Fade Rift: Inbox

[pinprick]

You know what to do.

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[justice_is_blond]

[He breathes in shakily. If Nate's saying that, he believes it, and Anders needed to hear it.]

He set, set Herian and myself on fire. And his eyes, they'd changed. The humanity, his humanity, was gone. We lost him to Rage and I could see the moment it happened, the moment it was all over.

[pinprick]

Oh, my love. [Nathaniel is walking now, headed to the Wardens' supply of food for travel.] My darling, I am so sorry you had to see that.

[justice_is_blond]

It could have been me. It could have been, except I had you, and Bethany, and Adelaide, and so many others, and he had no one. He saw them kill his parents and he had no one.

And I couldn't even be there for him.

[pinprick]

[It's not about Anders having to see it, then. It's about the fact that it happened. And Anders was right in front of it, and could not stop it. Anders isn't just a bleeding heart.]

You know you're not to blame. You know you couldn't have done anything.

[justice_is_blond]

[He wants to argue that, but can't come up with any arguments. He'd done all he could. He hadn't turned the boy into an abomination. He hadn't angered the boy. He'd just not saved him.

Another exhale.]

I know. I know I did all I could. But I'm never going to forget the way he cried out for his parents, or the way it felt to help Herian cut through his neck. But he was in pain and I couldn't let the pain keep getting worse.