Fade Rift: Inbox

[pinprick]

You know what to do.

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[justice_is_blond]

He can breathe again at that answer, drawing close to Nate as they resume walking. There's silence for a few moments before he can muster up a reply to Nate's question.

"I don't know that I would want to go on. I had to, after Karl died. Justice gave me no choice in the matter. But I don't think I want to live through losing again." His voice is quiet as he speaks, and his gaze is directed at the ground. "I've survived so many things, and I'm... I'm tired, Nate. I don't think I have the energy to go on from something happening to you."

[pinprick]

Nathaniel lets go of Anders' hand so he can put his arm around his waist and draw him close.

"I...understand. I guess we're both ready to finally find someone we never have to lose. Ready for that happily ever after. I just worry that I'm...I don't want to be the next Justice in your life. I don't want to...absorb you. I just wanted to bring you out into the sun so you could shine all on your own."

[justice_is_blond]

He leans into the hold.

"You're nothing like Justice, love. You don't force anything, you listen, you care about my input. You support instead of push. My... Any lack of shine is because of the tarnish of my past, not you. I swear it, Nate. You've only ever helped and done right by me." He didn't realize Nate had been worried about that. He'd have to try to make sure Nate didn't have anything to fear there.

[pinprick]

Nathaniel presses a kiss to the side of Anders' head, his worries quieted for now. Though he considers, wonders, how he can do better. For Anders and for himself. How do Delilah and her husband do it?

As he relaxes at the scent of Anders' hair, he smiles a little. "We should have couple-friends."

[justice_is_blond]

He can feel Nate relax against him and Anders relaxes in turn. Whatever got Nate worried has passed for now, it seems.

"Couple-friends? I'm not sure what that means. We've people who like the both of us. Bethany, Merrill, um, you know Cyril, don't you? The list is only on the short side because I'm not certain who all you know."

[pinprick]

"I mean...when couples are friends with other couples. Each couple being a sort of unit. That's a thing."

[justice_is_blond]

"Oh." He's quiet again for a few moments. "I... The only set I can think of that's all fine with me is Cyril and Taas and Sam. And I think Sam still has his doubts sometimes. I'm... I make that complicated."

He's good with Araceli, but not Korrin. He's good with Bethany, but not always certain Aleron is all right with him.

[pinprick]

"What about Bethany and Aleron?" Nathaniel wonders--perhaps some of that couple telepathy, or just blundering cluelessly ahead. "We've known them for ages."

Sort of. Nate has known them, individually, for ages. Anders has known Bethany for ages. Still.

[justice_is_blond]

Nate gets a wry half-smile. "Aleron's a Seeker, love. He sees Bethany as a person, I'm satisfied enough in that, but I'm not certain he sees all mages as people, and I'm also not certain he's... quite all right with me. I have been vocally upset with the Seekers for doing nothing in Kirkwall, despite my letters."

Anders sighs and shrugs. "I've made things complicated for you."

[pinprick]

"Not at all. Maybe he deserves to be pushed. Maybe the two of you would have good conversations about this sort of thing. I'll have to ask him how he would think about that. It's good for people to challenge each other."

[justice_is_blond]

"If he's... If it wouldn't be an issue," he concedes. "I'm more than willing to talk about the issues. Some don't enjoy it." Many don't. Especially because he knows he's obstinate and feels he has to be that way. He's a mage. It's easier to ignore what he's saying and wave him off as deluded or just over-reacting.

"He at least seems to be willing to do a little talking."