Anders. [Nathaniel wants and needs him now, though he cannot have him yet. It's still in his voice, and the way he says his name.] Anders, my darling. I would sweep you up into my arms and carry to our bed. And then...
Then, my love, we would fall asleep.
[BOOM. Anders started the teasing. See how he likes it.]
Sometimes this is a problem. Anders doesn't immediately say what he means, or what he feels, and Nathaniel finds him so transparent by comparison to nearly everyone else in his life that he doesn't think to ask. Now he feels guilty for going without Anders--probably the reason Anders didn't say anything--and foolish for not seeing this earlier.]
I feel the same, [he assures him softly.] I'm sorry, I'm not...really accustomed to being missed. But I will always, always come back to you. We have a wedding to look forward to, don't we? I'm marrying you. That is proof that I will always come back to you.
[It's hard for him to admit what he really feels sometimes. Being silly and funny, or being angry and attacking, are both easy. Earnestness and openness aren't, especially when there's fear involved.]
We do.
[Always come back to him. Very few people have made promises to him, and Nate's kept every one he's made. It helps. It helps a great deal.]
I'm, I'm sorry too. I'm not used to people coming back.
[He's very used to missing people and losing them.]
I worry. A lot. Sometimes, I know, it's more than I should. I don't know how to stop worrying, but I trust you and I trust in you.
[And now he's being far too serious for his own comfort for far too long, so he tries to cover it up with a cough and a little laugh, as much of a laugh as he can muster.]
Some people carry flower bouquets. Could I carry three or four cats? For the wedding, I mean.
[Nathaniel wants to reach across the distance and touch and reassure him. He wants to be able to make him stop worrying through some sort of love-magic that doesn't exist. As if he could love him enough to make him stop hurting--though sometimes, Nathaniel loves Anders enough to make himself stop hurting, even if only for a little while. That really must be actual love-magic.
There's a soft laugh at that.]
Well. We'll at least have the first flowers of spring to crown ourselves with, won't we? Isn't that Ander tradition, or is that not for weddings?
no subject
Date: 2016-12-09 08:47 pm (UTC)From:Then, my love, we would fall asleep.
[BOOM. Anders started the teasing. See how he likes it.]
no subject
Date: 2016-12-09 08:55 pm (UTC)From:Remember this when you can't find any of your socks when we're both back. Any of them. Even if you acquire more.
no subject
Date: 2016-12-09 09:07 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2016-12-09 09:35 pm (UTC)From:[After several, after the amusement and teasing wears away, he sighs.]
I miss you.
[He's said it a few times now, but this time it's delivered seriously.]
It scares me a little, how much I've grown accustomed to having you around and wanting you around. Just... Stay safe and come back to me.
no subject
Date: 2016-12-09 11:18 pm (UTC)From:Sometimes this is a problem. Anders doesn't immediately say what he means, or what he feels, and Nathaniel finds him so transparent by comparison to nearly everyone else in his life that he doesn't think to ask. Now he feels guilty for going without Anders--probably the reason Anders didn't say anything--and foolish for not seeing this earlier.]
I feel the same, [he assures him softly.] I'm sorry, I'm not...really accustomed to being missed. But I will always, always come back to you. We have a wedding to look forward to, don't we? I'm marrying you. That is proof that I will always come back to you.
no subject
Date: 2016-12-09 11:43 pm (UTC)From:We do.
[Always come back to him. Very few people have made promises to him, and Nate's kept every one he's made. It helps. It helps a great deal.]
I'm, I'm sorry too. I'm not used to people coming back.
[He's very used to missing people and losing them.]
I worry. A lot. Sometimes, I know, it's more than I should. I don't know how to stop worrying, but I trust you and I trust in you.
[And now he's being far too serious for his own comfort for far too long, so he tries to cover it up with a cough and a little laugh, as much of a laugh as he can muster.]
Some people carry flower bouquets. Could I carry three or four cats? For the wedding, I mean.
no subject
Date: 2016-12-09 11:49 pm (UTC)From:There's a soft laugh at that.]
Well. We'll at least have the first flowers of spring to crown ourselves with, won't we? Isn't that Ander tradition, or is that not for weddings?
no subject
Date: 2016-12-09 11:59 pm (UTC)From:[He wants to see Nate's face as he laughs, the way it crinkles and lights up, but this will do. Nate laughed. That's enough for now.]
We'll wear flower crowns and Purrelden will get to be the only cat at the wedding. I'm certain she'll be very glad about that.
no subject
Date: 2016-12-10 12:39 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2016-12-10 12:59 am (UTC)From:[It's not quite equivalent, but he feels like he can take liberties.]
You're so much better than a dog, though. Even when you put your icy feet on me.
no subject
Date: 2016-12-13 03:00 pm (UTC)From: