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You know what to do.

Nathaniel, because he loves him, puts another kitten on his chest before leaning down to kiss him. A little kiss, just to return the sentiment because he's not as easy with words. He looks into those amber eyes, his own shining. Another kitten is piled on.

"You are the love of my life," he says quietly. "And because I love you, I am putting squeaky kittens all over you."

The next kitten goes directly on Anders' face.

He snorts, sound quickly stifled so he doesn't knock the kitten off. Some days he feels like there's a massive hole in him that can never be repaired. When he's with Nate, though, he feels more like he's whole and complete.

"And you are the love of mine," he says after he shifts the kitten to be on his nose rather than his mouth. He's loved before, but this is a love that has had time to become full-blown. "I can't believe I get to marry you. Or be buried in squeaky kittens."

Nate's cheek is gently rubbed before he returns to petting the kittens. "I'd a fantasy about being rescued by you, you know. Only I was a little more... coherent when you found me in it and I promptly offered to reward you. This didn't work out quite so well."

Nathaniel makes a thoughtful sound. The kitten moves to Anders' nose with a soft meeee and holds on for dear life.

"We could always make pretend, later tonight. I could rescue you from any number of places in Skyhold. I look forward to seeing what the reward could be--though not in front of the kittens."

"Definitely not in front of the kittens." He continues petting for several moments before he reaches up to hold Nate's hand.

"No one's ever come when I needed them before. So many times in my life I've needed and I've been alone. But you, you came through. You love me and you came through. I could only dream of it before." He takes a shaky breath. "I was so scared, I couldn't see a way out, and then you were there. You didn't have to prove yourself to me, but Maker, there's no stronger proof of love."

The kitten on Anders' nose has climbed onto Anders' upper chest, tottering from uncertain footing. After a moment, it turns around and gives a bewildered mmmeeeEEEEEEEr right into Anders' face. Meanwhile, another kitten has started climbing up Nathaniel's sleeve, adventurous and determined to see how far it can go.

Nathaniel strokes Anders' hair again. "I will always come for you," he says quietly, as he did in the tent. "Always."

He can't help it, tears well up in his eyes and one escapes. Anders turns his head slightly to look away, taking a shaky breath as he does. This is security and safety, and he's never had that before, not since the day he set the barn on fire.

"You're a miracle. My miracle. I can't..." Anyone would be lucky to have Nate by their side. He's all the more lucky, considering everything. "I don't know what I'd do without you." Nate is his light and his strength and his hope, and if he was to lose Nate, he couldn't go on. He's quite certain of that, even with all these kittens.

The bewildered one gets more attention, both hands going to soothe and comfort him.

"It's all right, little one. We're as safe as we can ever possibly be."

The hand stroking Anders' hair halts briefly before continuing. For a moment, Nathaniel is thrown into serious doubt. He swallows it for the moment and keeps covering Anders with kittens.

It's on the way back to the camp that Nathaniel, after a great deal of internal struggling, speaks, threading his fingers through his partner's.

"Anders...if something happened to me, you would be fine. Well, maybe not fine, but you would be able to go on. Right?"

His heart drops to his stomach at the question, and Anders' grip on Nate's hand tightens as he looks at his partner.

"What's that mean? Is something going on? Are you... What's going on?" The answer is no, but he's not sure he wants to give it. Not yet, at least.

"No--no, nothing, I just--" Okay he has to do a bit of damage control, taking a moment to squeeze Anders' hand and smile. "I'm fine. I'm not going anywhere. I just...worry about you."

He can breathe again at that answer, drawing close to Nate as they resume walking. There's silence for a few moments before he can muster up a reply to Nate's question.

"I don't know that I would want to go on. I had to, after Karl died. Justice gave me no choice in the matter. But I don't think I want to live through losing again." His voice is quiet as he speaks, and his gaze is directed at the ground. "I've survived so many things, and I'm... I'm tired, Nate. I don't think I have the energy to go on from something happening to you."

Nathaniel lets go of Anders' hand so he can put his arm around his waist and draw him close.

"I...understand. I guess we're both ready to finally find someone we never have to lose. Ready for that happily ever after. I just worry that I'm...I don't want to be the next Justice in your life. I don't want to...absorb you. I just wanted to bring you out into the sun so you could shine all on your own."

Edited Date: 2017-01-31 12:47 am (UTC)

He leans into the hold.

"You're nothing like Justice, love. You don't force anything, you listen, you care about my input. You support instead of push. My... Any lack of shine is because of the tarnish of my past, not you. I swear it, Nate. You've only ever helped and done right by me." He didn't realize Nate had been worried about that. He'd have to try to make sure Nate didn't have anything to fear there.

Nathaniel presses a kiss to the side of Anders' head, his worries quieted for now. Though he considers, wonders, how he can do better. For Anders and for himself. How do Delilah and her husband do it?

As he relaxes at the scent of Anders' hair, he smiles a little. "We should have couple-friends."

Edited Date: 2017-01-31 01:09 am (UTC)

He can feel Nate relax against him and Anders relaxes in turn. Whatever got Nate worried has passed for now, it seems.

"Couple-friends? I'm not sure what that means. We've people who like the both of us. Bethany, Merrill, um, you know Cyril, don't you? The list is only on the short side because I'm not certain who all you know."

"I mean...when couples are friends with other couples. Each couple being a sort of unit. That's a thing."

"Oh." He's quiet again for a few moments. "I... The only set I can think of that's all fine with me is Cyril and Taas and Sam. And I think Sam still has his doubts sometimes. I'm... I make that complicated."

He's good with Araceli, but not Korrin. He's good with Bethany, but not always certain Aleron is all right with him.

"What about Bethany and Aleron?" Nathaniel wonders--perhaps some of that couple telepathy, or just blundering cluelessly ahead. "We've known them for ages."

Sort of. Nate has known them, individually, for ages. Anders has known Bethany for ages. Still.

Edited Date: 2017-01-31 01:56 am (UTC)

Nate gets a wry half-smile. "Aleron's a Seeker, love. He sees Bethany as a person, I'm satisfied enough in that, but I'm not certain he sees all mages as people, and I'm also not certain he's... quite all right with me. I have been vocally upset with the Seekers for doing nothing in Kirkwall, despite my letters."

Anders sighs and shrugs. "I've made things complicated for you."

"Not at all. Maybe he deserves to be pushed. Maybe the two of you would have good conversations about this sort of thing. I'll have to ask him how he would think about that. It's good for people to challenge each other."

"If he's... If it wouldn't be an issue," he concedes. "I'm more than willing to talk about the issues. Some don't enjoy it." Many don't. Especially because he knows he's obstinate and feels he has to be that way. He's a mage. It's easier to ignore what he's saying and wave him off as deluded or just over-reacting.

"He at least seems to be willing to do a little talking."