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You know what to do.

Adelaide.

[He sounds frustrated, verging on angry.]

Do you have any idea how alarming it is to receive a message like that and then hear nothing?

Don't take that voice with me, Nathaniel. I had no way of knowing if any of those went through nor was I precisely certain I recalled sending them correctly, and if I sent them, to whom.

Bullshit.

Do tell me what it is like to be physically present in the Fade, as you obviously have so much more experience.

You were present enough to tell me precisely where your information is about him, about what to do. You were present enough to direct it to me. So I say bullshit. You called to him one last time, now you've kicked him in the teeth. Next time, don't call him first. It's less cruel. You can't keep toying with him like this. You mean too much to him. Be his friend or cut him loose.

Because his feelings were not, precisely, my first priority? That is your responsibility, not mine. I told you my life is not entirely my own, that I have obligations and responsibilities. Those come first. Those will always come first. So yes, I was preoccupied, yes, it slipped my mind. If that is too difficult for him then he is welcome to consider himself cut loose.

...Andraste's ashes, Adelaide. Anders is only part of the problem. I'm part of the problem too. You contacted both of us, and you neglected to tell either of us you were alive. How many other people did you contact? Did you let them know you're alive, or did you specifically forget only about us?

If everyone I attempted to reach actually got their messages? roughly a dozen, including my students. They were not precisely pleased with me upon my return.

[ She'd forgotten to mention it to anyone save Martel, if only out of fear of what he'd do if she said nothing. ]

So you upset a lot of people and then failed to clean up your own fucking mess, and you excuse yourself by talking about responsibility. That's not responsible, Adelaide. Your responsibility is to clean up after yourself. Tell those people who care about you--who care more than they were able to tell you when you said you were going to die--that you are alive and they can breathe again.

Honestly, you and Anders are the last to know. Everyone else was in the Western Approach.

Edited (extra word) Date: 2016-06-07 02:54 am (UTC)

[A sharp laugh.]

And because it was us, it was all right for you to leave a mess behind? 'This is the abomination and his lover, they deserve all the suffering I cause for them?'

Is it so impossible to imagine that I genuinely forgot? I do not know if you are aware, Nathaniel, but I am human. We do, on occasion, fuck up.

At which point, you apologize. Not ask me to 'disregard your previous message.'

That was the only relevant thing to say. That I am alive, and whatever you heard before is no longer important. Perhaps I should have let Anders tell you.

It is relevant because I heard it. I worried. It's very easy to brush it off because you knew you were alive. Andraste's blood, Adelaide, I thought we were friends.

...ah.

[ That is...somewhat awkward. She truly has not considered their association beyond 'a requirement to see this damn thing through' and 'potential source of blackmail via Anders' but, if she steps back long enough to look at it-

They could be. ]

Would you believe I am not the best with such things?

[He barks an ironic laugh.]

I might. I might even believe you're so focused on your responsibilities and your public image that you forget about people sometimes. But I need to know you can remember about people again, once you've forgotten, instead of acting like nothing's wrong.

To me nothing was wrong until Anders stared at me like I was a ghost. That is about when I realized I forgot to mention I had not died.

[ And now she has called Nathaniel. Due Diligence managed. ]

Perhaps I ought to have waited a bit. Anders only just left and he left on something of an unrelated sour note.

"I forgot to tell you. I'm sorry. I'm alive and unhurt." That is what you say, Adelaide. And then I say, "It's all right, I'm just glad you're safe." It's no more difficult than that.

J'ai oublié, désolé, je suis en vie.

[There's a pause. She knows he hates that language. He turns it over in his head and decides it's not worth getting even angrier over.]

Pas de quoi. Je suis heureux que tu es bien.

[It took him a bit to put it together and it's not entirely grammatically correct, but it's an effort.]

...

Well.

You speak it better than Alistair. I am not physically pained by your accent. That was Adequate. [ A common enough comment given out during her lessons but- perhaps- she ought to try this 'encouragement' thing on more than mere academics. ] You did well.