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You know what to do.

The safety he feels when he's held by Nate is unmatched, and he would do anything for this man, everything. ...Including resting for a whole day, but now at least there's promise of not having to just be a lump there.

"A very high price," he corrects breathily. "All of you, that's my--oh fuck." He'd figured out where Nate was heading with the trail of kisses but that has nothing on Nate's tongue or the warmth of his husband's mouth around him. His cock twitches there, coming to full attention rather quickly.

"You to be all mine as I am all yours, that's my price, and that's all I need," Anders manages. "And in return I will continue to love you more too, my beloved, my Bear." His fingers glide through Nate's hair, gently scratching Nate's scalp. There is nothing like this in Thedas, or possibly in any world, nothing like being loved and loving in return.

That gasp causes Nathaniel himself to stiffen, and he is pleased at the feeling of Anders hardening against his tongue. He takes him in deep, till he must come back up, tasting that salt against his tongue and sucking hard as he reaches the tip. Up and down he bobs his head, determined to bring his husband to ecstasy and rid his mind of all worries, all fears, all responsibilities. Maker knows Anders has done the same for him many times. Two fingers quest along Anders' lips, seeking entrance.

The sentences turn into mere noises as Nate works him over, knowing well exactly what it is that drives Anders wild by now. And he knows what Nate loves too, taking in Nate's fingers and sucking them hard. The anticipation of where they're going, the sight of Nate's head bobbing up and down on his cock and the magnificent way Nate sucks him pushes him right over the edge quickly and he groans, releasing and relaxing completely.

Anders pants in between continuing to lick at and slick up Nate's fingers, spreading his legs wide in invitation. That too is a show for Nate he knows his husband loves.

He tastes Anders' release before he anticipates, and even that, while mildly disappointing, is greatly gratifying. So instead of fingering his husband while he sucks him, he gets to take is own pleasure. Maybe he can make Anders come twice and get him to sleep shortly after.

Both fingers slide into the man he loves, and he relishes the heat as he touches it. Deep and hot and slick, and he knows exactly how it will feel around his own cock. His fingers slide back out and he replaces them with his tongue, mouth wide open and exploring. Clean and smoky and smooth. He takes his time, waiting for Anders to be ready for another go because he wants to exhaust and satisfy this man.

And when the moment is right, he slides in to the hilt and moves steadily, hooking knees over his elbows and moving slow, building at a pace that won't hurt or stress, only please. Silk and chocolate, no pain, only ecstasy.

The fingers are welcome as always, stretching him out and exploring as Anders groans his appreciation. They both absolutely know that he can take more but Nate always takes his time, always takes so much care.

And then he takes more time, tonguing him open further, one of Anders' absolute favorite things. By the time Nate's getting in position to take him Anders is breathless and hard again.

"Pamper indeed," he groans out as Nate takes his time. Nate's spoiling him here... and, Anders realizes, probably being extremely strategic. Without this, Anders likely would have laid in bed, bored, thinking about all of what he could be doing. With this? He's going to sleep so well, and soon here. "And clever, love."

He's not going to object, but he does lace his fingers in Nate's hair before urging him down for a kiss as he gets close again.

Nathaniel slides his tongue inside Anders' mouth as he moves below, building heat between them. He likes this position best--it lets him see and kiss his husband freely, and watch his face as he brings him to ecstasy. His breath catches and he moans against Anders' ear as his pace quickens. He can tell Anders is getting close, and wants to come with him. And then they are spilling, coasting on an electric high, and when Nathaniel comes down, he kisses the drops of sweat on Anders' throat.

"Now I know," he pants, "if you get restless, I can keep you in bed by making love to you."

He's slumped on the pillows after, absolutely exhausted, shaking his head... and chuckling despite himself.

"I walked so happily into that one, and I would walk happily into it again," he admits, wrapping tired arms around his husband. "We should have you help in the infirmary with the difficult patients, suggesting how to keep them resting. Is this the plan for tomorrow? Several rounds of sex until I've no ability to even think about work?"

"If that's what it takes, I will make the sacrifice." Nathaniel plucks another kiss from Anders' lips before carefully pulling out and wiping them both down. "There are also a few books we could read together. That's one of my very favorite things to do with you. And we can also just...talk. I love talking with you, and we're both so busy we've barely had the chance."

Despite all of the things that won't be getting done at the Infirmary or Clinic tomorrow, or in the garden, or continuing work on the mages' support group, that sounds... rather nice. As nice as the kiss, and Nate gently cleaning them.

"I like the sound of that." There was a time when he hadn't been quite so much of a workaholic. While he's fairly certain he can't ever live as relaxed and going-with-the-flow again, one day shouldn't hurt. Anders gets up enough to grab the caftan Nate had brought over and wrap it around himself, protection against the cold, before starting to pull blankets in place. Once situated, he reaches for Nate. "We'll spend tomorrow like that, my cunning, determined, beloved husband."

He is fully known, and loved anyway.

In the morning, Nathaniel sneaks out to buy fresh eggs and a slab of ham. It's very difficult, in their small room, to make breakfast without waking Anders, but he tries. Toast is toasted, water is boiled for coffee, and maybe everything isn't quite ready when Anders awakens, but it's getting there.

He's not a heavy sleeper by any means, which means waking up to find Nate already up and having mostly prepared breakfast eases his worries about not finding something wrong slightly. He is tired. Maybe that can be all it is.

Slowly Anders gets up, stretching before coming over to the table. Any comments about how Nate could have had him help are dismissed; they're not welcome here today.

"Thank you." His voice is quiet. "I... I appreciate you doing this." It's very hard to simply accept being spoiled. Anders feels idle and strange, but he tries to push it out of his mind as he settles in for coffee and toast and, by the scent of it, ham and eggs shortly here. "This wasn't too much effort, I hope?"

"No worrying," Nate says flatly, coming over to give Anders a good-morning kiss. "It's never too much effort. You've done the same for me on mornings when I've been ill."

"No worrying," he echoes before kissing Nate back. "It feels different because I'm just tired. It's not like I got stomped by a Vengeance demon."

Anders takes a slice of toast and starts buttering it. "At least next time the mage gathering should be easier. The interest is there, and I hope it will take root with the spreading word of mouth. I don't know how to take anything else off my slate, though. ...Unless I cut back on what I teach at the Clinic."

There's coverage there, at least, with the teaching. Not so much with the healing, but he's used to that level of work. "I'll do that," he says before Nate suggests taking on less Warden work. He's worked hard for this appointment, he thinks. It matters.

"Maybe appoint a new teacher," Nate suggests, pouring Anders' coffee. "If the lessons are doing the community good, someone else ought to take over. Can you think of anyone, offhand? Bethany? She's itching to take on extra-curricular activities, and the Dartons could benefit from the publicity."

"Bethany would be a fairly good choice," he allows. She's sometimes a bit flighty, but she's compassionate and diligent. He just wishes he wasn't getting old, or whatever's going on here. Even if he manages to get well-rested somehow, an unfamiliar feeling, he has a hunch Nate won't want him picking back up what duties he's set aside.

"It's a shame Kaisa isn't a mage. She's all fired up about teaching. ...Incidentally, there is a private student I've taken on who I won't be handing off. He's on the deeply hurt and scared side of things when it comes to being a mage but he managed to get up the courage to ask me for further training. I can't abandon him, not when he was in Kinloch Hold too and he's young."

Nathaniel stops scooping eggs onto Anders' plate to fix him with a critical look.

"Got up the courage to ask for lessons? That is a very minimal amount of courage, Anders. I'm sure someone else can handle him."

They don't... often hit a point like this, where the misunderstanding is about the mage experience. Anders meets Nate's gaze.

"No, love. Everything he says and does speaks to a massive amount of trauma, and he's terrified to be known as a mage so lessons took so much courage. He is hurt, but he found the strength to ask my help, to put trust in me, and I will not betray that. I know you don't understand, and that's all right. But I need you to trust me on this as a mage who knows what it means to nearly be broken as a mage."

Nathaniel is less and less aware of the vast privilege he enjoyed up till the age of thirty, as it is put further and further in the past. Now, he has to take a moment to backpedal and reevaluate. Courage and cowardice were the greatest virtue and the gravest vice...as taught to him by a man who died in his own dungeon while torturing helpless innocents. He continues spooning eggs, shaking his head and trying to wrap his head around it.

"It's beyond me to tell you what a mage's experience is," he admits. "Though it seems to me that when you were hurt, you ran. Even when it branded you apostate, even if it had branded you maleficar. You joined the Wardens and became an advocate for other mages at the risk of your own life. But your standards for another man are so low, he gets up in the morning and you call it courage?

He gets up to take one of Nate's hands in his, holding it gently.

"Everyone reacts to abuse differently, and he's scarcely more than a boy, love. He was a boy when I saw him last. He was preyed upon and he got creative, he started bribing some of his bullies to protect him from worse ones and can you imagine the strength it takes to even suggest such a thing when they had every ability to beat him and worse? He didn't accept it as inevitable. He found a way to survive that took so much more work than bowing one's head and accepting it."

Now he squeezes Nate's hand. "He was surrounded by rabid dogs who just wanted to hurt him and he made it. And now he's trying to heal from it and find his identity in a shape that isn't broken. Without you, I wouldn't have found my own shape again, love. Now it's my turn to offer him strength and solace and friendship as he learns who he is without the threat of pain and suffering breathing down his neck."

Nathaniel looks at Anders in growing surprise. He recalls to mind Thomas, and feels suddenly like he understands his brother's difficult behavior better--they were both trying to survive, weren't they? In a situation where their father pit them against each other like fighting dogs. To this day he is hesitant to use the A-word, but he doesn't have to because Anders sees it for what it was already. Did anyone give Thomas any such words?

A conciliatory nod. "All right, love. Help him. But please, don't forget there are people who will help if you get tired. And don't let your eggs get cold." He leans in to kiss the tip of that perfect nose.

Nate gets a tight hug before Anders is taking his seat again.

"I will pay more attention to my energy and what I'm doing, I promise. I don't want you worried or hurting. ...And I'll hardly be a good model for him to follow if I'm falling over again." And he needs to be a good model, with how the young man looks up to him.

"Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays, those are our lesson days. Three lessons a week with one student won't be taxing."

"I am duly warned." A kiss on the cheek before he starts dishing out ham. "I know what it's like to find a case you relate to. I first had that with Bethany. More lately with Ciri. Who I've made an assistant part-time, by the by. Hopefully one of these days she'll have my job. She's a good skeptic, and knows better than I do the cost of doing business as a Warden."

Edited (wrong meat) Date: 2018-01-16 01:19 am (UTC)

He looks up at his husband, processing the information before asking the question that suddenly seems a little dangerous.

"Where do you see yourself when she has your job?" Worrying isn't supposed to happen today but he can't help himself right now.

"Retired with you," Nathaniel answers easily, first because it's the fantasy they have together, and second because it's actually somewhat true these days. He sits down and reassuringly rubs Anders' thigh. "With a houseful of children and animals"

Breathing a sigh of relief, Anders leans against his husband.

"I want that so much. Sometimes I think about what I dreamed of before everything fell apart in Vigil's Keep, how I would have been happy to be a Warden the rest of my life and have you as a fuck buddy. My dreams were so small." He chuckles, cutting up his ham. "Now that it will be difficult to find a country that will be fine with me living in it I want a house and to keep you forever and to no longer be a Warden eventually and to have children and pets. I want it all."